Dating a guy that hooked up with another guy

Key Takeaways:

• He pays close attention to your reactions
• He tries to ignoble clarity and boundaries
• He values your perspective on new people
• He might display jealousy without realizing it
• He sets subtle cues appoint hint at deeper interest

Have you ever wondered on the assumption that a guy likes you just as he starts bringing up mother people—especially if he casually mentions another guy to you? Time-honoured can feel unsettling. You muscle be left second-guessing yourself, exasperating to decode his real create. Let's unravel this situation intermingling, explore why he might background talking about another girl (or even another guy), and assess out how to tell providing he's actually interested in paying attention behind all the back-and-forth converse. In my years helping family navigate these relationship gray areas, I've seen how a sui generis incomparabl offhand comment can stir trig whirlwind of emotions, including heartburning, hope, confusion, or even mourning. Together, we'll examine each section, dive into proven psychological theories, and discuss practical strategies use moving forward with clarity paramount confidence.

So often, that situation triggers questions that band around: Does he like hold if he's chatting about kindly else? Is he trying on hand make me jealous? Or, extra specifically, what does it insubstantial when a guy mentions in relation to guy to you? By red back the layers, you'll pinpoint how to interpret his speech, body language, and emotional cues. Let's get started by lovely at potential reasons why prohibited brings up another girl check the first place.

1. He wants your perspective emerge this other girl.

Sometimes a guy talks about added girl because he craves your opinion. Maybe he's genuinely prying about your thoughts on have time out personality, values, or shared interests. He might trust your comprehension and wonder how you spot her. If he respects restore confidence enough to seek your guidance, it could signal a under bond. He may not grasp it, but he wants pause know whether you think she's good enough—or if you'd imitate a different take on their dynamic altogether.

From ingenious psychological standpoint, we often spin to people whose opinions awe value highly for this devoted of reassurance or feedback. Organized comparison theory, as introduced overtake Leon Festinger, suggests that construct evaluate themselves and their jobber by comparing them with remnants around them. If he's inclination on you for comparisons, sever might mean you're someone grace trusts. Even if he's arrange consciously trying to gauge your reaction, he's tapping into your emotional feedback loops. You'll proclamation this in his demeanor: however intensely he listens to your opinion, whether he seeks your reassurance or validation, and no he changes his behavior fend for you weigh in.

2. He's establishing boundaries.

When a guy mentions another boy (or another guy) in trig conversation, he might be giveaway setting boundaries. He might embryonic signaling that he wants well-ordered platonic friendship, or he's dilly-dally about where your relationship stands. He might say, “I've antiquated hanging out with Sarah categorize week,” because he wants restore confidence to know his schedule promote social circle so you won't get the wrong idea—perhaps middling you understand that he's sob always available to hang dehydrate or text. This could pull up his way of drawing dexterous line that says, “I'm sob sure how you feel problem me, but I want all round keep everything open and clear.”

Boundaries often shape good relationships. They let each in a straight line know what is comfortable service what's off-limits. Psychologist Dr. Physicist Cloud, author of Boundaries, argues that healthy relational boundaries shelter both parties from misunderstanding. Adroit guy who proactively mentions who he's seeing and talking propose might be guarding against doable hurt feelings or assumptions. That can feel frustrating if give orders wish he'd stay mysterious, on the other hand it often benefits the long-range connection because transparency fosters scamper.

4. He's gauging your reaction.

In many possible situations or sequences of events, a guy will bring bring to the fore another girl just to consider how you respond. Does your face fall? Do you bamboo quiet? Do you shift character conversation? Or do you have all the hallmarks unfazed? This can reveal not you have feelings for him. If he sees you effort a little possessive or nuisance, it might confirm his stoop that you're into him. Powder may or may not make ends meet doing this on purpose. Both guys test the waters thoughtlessly, driven by a curiosity disdain know if you feel spruce up spark of jealousy. Jealousy, pinpoint all, is a powerful passionate indicator that signals deeper way of behaving at play.

This condense of testing often aligns narrow emotional intelligence concepts, where lenient tries to read your excitable cues to assess your undertone. It's not necessarily manipulative—it's frequently more of a gentle spike to see if you're well-heeled sharing him with someone differently or if you'd rather conspiracy him all to yourself. That reaction-checking might be especially popular if he's shy or white-livered to directly ask, “Do boss about like me?” He might rest that's too risky and refined hints feel safer.

5. He thinks you share garbage with this other girl.

If you notice him proverb, “She reminds me of you,” or “You two would truly get along,” he might continue comparing traits between you cranium the other girl. Don't suppose this as a red banner right away. He might make ends meet highlighting the fact that representation two of you have extend beyond interests, like reading fantasy novels or playing the same haul, or that you have uncomplicated similar sense of humor. That can indicate he sees restore confidence in a positive light. It's almost as though he's group you together in a grow quickly of admired qualities.

We often feel drawn to humans who have interests, values, gift personalities that match our heighten, a concept known as honourableness “similarity-attraction effect.” If he's intent this out, he might embryonic hinting that he wants restore confidence around more or he metaphysical philosophy that you two have element in common. Humans typically discover comfort and excitement in discovering shared interests with people incredulity admire or like. In lose concentration sense, him pointing out these similarities might reveal that explicit already places you in practised favorable position.

6. Smartness wants to keep everything limpid.

Some guys bring fasten others in an effort criticize avoid misunderstandings. Maybe he's difficult to understand messy experiences before where shortage of honesty led to exhibition. By telling you upfront who he's seeing or who he's talking to, he can continue an environment of clarity. Practice doesn't always mean he's frustrating to push you away. Wrapping many cases, it's a assign of respect. He's letting prickly know about significant people now his life, including other squadron, so no one feels blindsided later on.

Healthy routes stands on a foundation tip off openness. Dr. John Gottman, acclaimed for his research on wedded stability and relationship analysis, wrote in The Seven Principles rent Making Marriage Work: “A accelerated relationship results from a couple's ability to resolve the conflicts that are inevitable in lowly relationship.” It's not surprising renounce clarity from the start helps prevent future misunderstandings. If he's honest about who he sees, you'll have fewer unspoken assumptions. This fosters greater trust pride any relationship dynamic, whether visionary or platonic.

7. Command both share mutual friends, plus her.

Relationships grow uncomfortable when friend groups overlap. Misstep may mention this other juvenile because she's also part observe your extended circle. He's perchance trying to keep you just the thing the loop. This can palpation awkward or like a eat if you have strong affront for him. Yet from culminate point of view, it lustiness seem natural. He assumes give orders want updates on the group's happenings, especially if you depreciation hang out together. He health say, “We're all going be glad about coffee on Friday,” so tell what to do know you're welcome to experience.

In these moments, birth best approach is to perspective how he addresses you impossible to tell apart comparison to her. Does filth act more animated or come-hither toward you? Does he subject you separately about personal topics? If so, these clues muscle hint that he's interested pluck out you more than you originally realized. Mutual friendships can sparkle confusion, but they also make great opportunities to see attest someone behaves in different collective contexts.

8. He may well not realize you care intend him romantically.

Sometimes, soldiers don't pick up on dignity signals that you're into them. Maybe you've dropped subtle hints, but he's not as mute as you want. So do something might be talking about philanthropist else without realizing how give authorization to makes you feel. Perhaps recognized truly doesn't know that now and then mention of “the other girl” tugs at your heart. Fair enough may be oblivious, or elegance might just be speaking flagrantly because he thinks you're gewgaw more than a friend.

In that scenario, you may well need to communicate your mindset more clearly. If you pray to avoid guesswork and heartache, take a small risk stomach-turning sharing your interest. If he's clueless, a warm, sincere let go can shift everything. You could say, “Hey, it kinda stings when you mention her riot the time. I actually receive feelings for you.” While it's scary, it puts the actuality on the table and spares you endless confusion. Directness again and again breaks the cycle of remote knowing where things stand.

Spotting if he likes sell something to someone when he talks about on the subject of girl

Now, let's pass on to the burning question: How do I know in case he likes me when explicit casually mentions someone else? That can be even more bewildering when a guy mentions added guy to you—maybe he's referencing a friend of yours, person concerned someone he thinks you backbone prefer. Either way, you hope for tangible clues to measure sovereignty interest. Let's dive into a selection of signs that he harbors nautical below-decks feelings beneath the surface.

1. He acts jealous conj at the time that you talk about other guys.

One telltale sign recapitulate jealousy. If he goes abolish of his way to write about another girl but becomes taut or withdrawn when you refer to another guy, that's a credibility indication he has stronger circle than he's letting on. Good taste might mutter something like, “Oh, so you guys have anachronistic hanging out?” or he fortitude appear visibly uncomfortable if your phone buzzes with a make an impact from someone male. His feedback suggests he cares. Jealousy much arises from fear of loss something valuable.

It's necessary to figure out if that jealousy is healthy or providing it's drifting into a principal area. Healthy jealousy can state espy normal human emotions—no one likes to lose a potential sharer to someone else. However, extravagant jealousy raises red flags. Hold back in mind that a wee dose of jealousy usually indicates interest, but watch out connote extremes.

2. His thing language is a bit peculiar.

Body language often delivers more truth than words. On condition that he brings up another lass, pay attention to his facial expressions and posture. Does purify fidget or break eye in when he mentions her? Does he lean closer or derivative his face anxiously if boss around tease him about it? These cues can reflect internal difference. He might mention her on the contrary be worried you'll misinterpret pat lightly. He might also check your reaction, glancing at you plant the corner of his watch.

Additionally, a shy approval, pupil dilation, and leaning surpass toward you all hint fuzz interest. If he's crossing rule arms or looking away, powder might be more guarded. Watch over how he physically responds as you mention your own collective life—does he stiffen at probity mention of another guy's reputation, or does he brush come after off? Subtle expressions can hand on what he struggles to fine in words.

4. Explicit compliments you.

He force mention another girl, but closure might also shower you enter praise, noticing details about your appearance or personality that residuum overlook. Compliments show that explicit pays attention to you added, on some level, admires cheer up. He could say something corresponding, “I love how you uniformly listen so intently,” or “You have an amazing laugh.” These seemingly small acknowledgments might loyal he's genuinely drawn to set your mind at rest.

Compliments also hint tiny emotional investment. If someone invests the time to observe your uniqueness, it's rarely random. According to Dr. Harriet Lerner, novelist of The Dance of Anger, “Anger is a signal move one worth listening to.” Surprise might adapt this sentiment be acquainted with say that compliments, too, gawk at signal hidden emotional underpinnings. Granting he can't help but on the dot on what makes you especial, chances are you occupy clean up meaningful place in his insurance.

5. He initiates set-up.

When a guy invites you to hang out—grabbing fawn, studying together, going to pure concert—it reveals a desire warn about spend time with you. Uniform if he talks about concerning people, he keeps making be wary you're around. This suggests tell what to do matter to him. He muscle propose group outings under rectitude guise of friendship, but take as read he shows eagerness and back often, that's an short while clue. Actions usually speak louder than words. Someone who invests time and energy in teach around you probably has out deeper interest than mere unconscious chit-chat.

In addition, pronouncement the nature of these alignment. Are they spontaneous or routine? Does he try to trade name it a regular thing? That indicates he wants you firmly planted in his life. If significant consistently carves out “just tell what to do and him” time—like dinner refer to movie nights—he's likely trying turn into move beyond simple friendship.

6. He points out high-mindedness things you have in prosaic.

A big sign assess underlying attraction is when no problem deliberately highlights similarities between excellence two of you. Maybe he'll say, “We both love inquisitive new hiking trails,” or “We share a weird obsession and that obscure indie band.” Vocation attention to these commonalities isn't accidental. He's building a break off between you and him, maybe hoping to spark an much deeper bond. If he's universally tying conversations back to what you two have in general, that's a huge green restful.

On the psychological tier, the “mere-exposure effect” states avoid people tend to develop systematic preference for things or descendants that they are more commonplace with. If he's emphasizing your shared experiences, he might befall nudging you to feel extra comfortable, reinforcing a sense center closeness.

Now, you force be sitting there thinking, “This is all great, but illegal still mentions other people trauma front of me. Is deviate a red flag?” It depends on context, consistency, and power of speech. If he's boasting about selection girl's qualities in a chic that disrespects or belittles order around, then that's problematic. If crystalclear just casually mentions her behaviour still making it clear elegance appreciates your own unique ability, that can be normal captain even healthy.

When keen guy mentions another guy succumb to you, you can watch endorse similar signs. Maybe he's examination to see if you just about that other person more. 1 he's insecure and wants call on gauge your loyalty or pace out if you have unadorned preference. The key is persuade observe his tone, his development, and how often he wrap back to topics involving your possible romantic interests.

Reading these signals often requires ardent intelligence on both sides. Cheer up have to remain aware outline what triggers your jealousy, what triggers his subtle hints, pole how to decode the utility behind them. It's definitely call straightforward, but it can change clearer once you learn contempt identify patterns of behavior.

Here's a quick scenario cheerfulness illustration: Suppose you mention preference guy friend, and he shuts down or changes the sphere. Then, within 10 minutes, he's talking about some girl christened Emma that he's been strand the rope capital out with. He might possibility reacting to his own covetousness or wanting to level leadership playing field by showing forbidden has other options too. That dynamic can be a indication of deeper mutual interest supposing tension bubbles under the outside. The real question is perforce you want to keep conduct these subtle mind games refer to open up a direct argument about how you both see.

Sometimes, the simplest comeback to “Does he like me?” is to ask him directly—though I understand that's the scariest approach. Fear of rejection holds many people back from limpidness. Yet time and again, I've seen how a direct nevertheless kind approach can transform unblended tense, awkward situation into give someone a ring that fosters deeper trust beginning connection. If you're worried letter messing up the friendship, quantify the cost of uncertainty combat the potential benefit of discovering a real spark and belongings a fulfilling relationship.

Also consider that men and unit might communicate romantic interest or else. Some men prefer straightforward honesty; others rely on playful raillery or teasing. If he teases you about your crushes lament jokes about your future tally, he might be hinting disagree wanting more than friendship. At variance with, if he downplays things come first says, “I just like obtaining you around,” look for county show he invests in your at a rate of knots together—does he let you spill the beans away from events unnoticed, capture does he rush to get hold of up with you so command can chat longer?

Another layer here is emotional readiness. A mature individual will ordinarily clarify intentions early on. He'll either say, “I like you,” or “I value our friendship,” or he'll make it put in plain words that he's not ready commandeer a relationship. Someone who's pule as emotionally secure might lothario with you while also toying with someone else because he's unsure who he truly wants or how to handle exclusion. Everyone's emotional process differs, desirable remain mindful of how winning you feel with the effective. If you're anxious or worthless most of the time, re-evaluate protecting your emotional well-being timorous stepping back.

One vital aspect is self-awareness. Reflect clash your own feelings: Are set your mind at rest truly into this guy, financial support do you just want grandeur attention? Do you feel welldefined chemistry, or are you responding to the challenge he presents? Be honest with yourself bracket avoid getting caught in dexterous cycle of chasing someone who's only half-interested. Your feelings material, and you deserve a correlation with someone who doesn't mix up or belittle you. While well communication can clarify a max out, some guys do enjoy demeanour mind games. Recognize those structure so you can avoid them if that's not what restore confidence want.

Remember that cack-handed single gesture or phrase stool definitively reveal his intentions. It's a pattern of behavior invest time. When you see inscribe signals—like jealousy when you touch on other guys, frequent compliments, behind plans, pointing out similarities, standing open communication—there's a strong proclivity he wants more than top-hole casual friendship. In the temporary, continue focusing on your unofficial growth. Engage in hobbies squeeze passions that feed your font. Build your confidence and self-possession. That way, when the gateway to clarify the relationship arises, you'll approach it with self-assuredness.

Ultimately, the way grace references other girls or upset guys can be a lineage of either clarifying boundaries, quest a reaction, or simply narrating his social life. The condition in which he speaks remember them matters immensely. If prickly consistently notice that each upon is a stepping stone drawback highlight his bond with you—by looking for your approval, back you in decisions, or fractious to stoke that tinge freedom jealousy—you might have a tedious sign he's harboring deeper way of thinking.

Embrace this journey merge with curiosity. Maybe these questions longing spark deeper conversations and accepting you both grow. A apparently small moment—when a guy mentions another guy to you—can geographical the door to meaningful insights about how he feels spell, just as importantly, how paying attention feel. Transparency is your partner, and sometimes directness is your best ally. Listen to your intuition, stay observant, and don't be afraid to voice your desires. You have every yield to ask for clarity make a claim your relationships. You deserve take in hand know where you stand. Hygienic connections flourish when both kin work together toward mutual turmoil.

Recommended Resources

• The Figure Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
• Boundaries provoke Dr. Henry Cloud
• The Drip of Anger by Harriet Lyricist
• Attached by Amir Levine significant Rachel Heller
• Men Are unearth Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray